a parody of "me," gaston's self-serving musical number from the beauty and the beast broadway musical, from belle's perspective. because i can't actually slap a fictional character in the face, and this is the next best thing!
(sort-of) music video: youtu.be/zKpPIUmwnbY
you've been dreaming, just one dream
in your empty head
hoping, scheming, just one theme:
a woman will you bed?
will some female be your property?
bad news! that won’t be me!
your equation, “girl plus man”?
sexism at best!
you don’t get to have my hand
thanks to your hairy chest!
you expect me to accept with glee?
i’d rather be lost at sea!
so aggressive all at once
well, i wouldn’t say…
and on top of that, a dunce!
each word stuffed with pure misogyny!
you think i’d keep your house with pride?
well, yes! i-
all passive and doe-eyed?
but of course! why?
birthing you a brood of progeny??
Picture this: A rustic hunting lodge,
my latest kill roasting over the fire,
my little wife massaging my-
let me stop you right there.
i can see that you won’t hear
what i have to say
all you want’s to drink your beer
and chase after your prey
You are face to face with destiny!
All roads lead to...
The best things in life are...
All's well that ends with MMPH?! [belle covers gaston’s mouth]
take you? there's no way
days would be so grey,
gaston, if i married-
So Belle, what would it be?
Is it "yes", or is it "oh, yes"?
you don’t care about my feelings at all, do you?
now f*** off.
released 06 March 2014